What My 20’s Really Taught Me

Your 20s are such a weird decade. They’re sold as the years you’re supposed to “find yourself,” but in reality? They’re more like stumbling through a dark room, trying not to trip over your own expectations.

Mine were messy, beautiful, exhausting, confusing, and full of growth I didn’t even realize was happening until I looked back.

I entered my 20s thinking success meant keeping everything together: the perfect grades, the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect social life. I thought adulthood was about pushing harder, saying yes more, and molding myself into whatever version other people needed at the time.

Spoiler alert: That’s not what life is actually about.

Here’s the truth I learned the slow, slightly painful way:
Your 20s aren’t about becoming someone polished — they’re about shedding everything that isn’t really you.

I learned that compromising with everyone else is easy, but compromising with yourself is where things start to unravel. That caring about what other people think steals so many good experiences. That your hormones will humble you faster than any breakup. And that coffee is not a beverage — it is a lifestyle.

I learned that creating good days for my kids always starts with creating a good day for myself. And that most people are too caught up in their own lives to judge the things I used to spiral about. I learned that bravery isn’t a feeling — it’s doing the thing while shaking. That comfort shows count as self-care. That rest is productive. That boundaries are love. And that gratitude really does shift everything, even when it feels cheesy.

I learned that multitasking while petting the dog is basically a crime, because that kind of unconditional love deserves your full attention. That a tattoo can heal parts of you you didn’t realize were wounded. That your degree isn’t your identity. And that pursuing what matters to you is always worth the effort — even if it scares you.

But the biggest thing my 20s taught me?

Time will pass no matter what — so you might as well spend it becoming the person you want to be.

Now, stepping into 30, I feel softer and stronger. Less apologetic. More intentional. And a whole lot more grounded. I don’t want to go back to who I was — not because she wasn’t worthy, but because she got me here. Every lesson, every stumble, every tiny victory built the foundation for the life I’m living now.

If your 20’s felt chaotic or confusing or like you were falling behind — trust me, you weren’t. You were growing in ways you won’t fully understand until later.

And the best part?
You’re just getting started.